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It’s time to pull out the Christmas music once again. Each year I stash it in the same place on a bookshelf, knowing that inevitably we will be listening to Diana Ross’ off-key Silver Bells, Nat King Cole’s classic White Christmas and the Vince Guaraldi’s sound track to A Charlie Brown Christmas. December another holiday favorite, is a collection of somber but beautiful piano pieces by George Winston. Originally recorded in 1982, it is the backdrop to a lot of my holiday memories growing up. It makes me wonder why this particular holiday can take on such a sad tone especially in music. Christmas is supposed to be about presents, and good cheer, and Santa, but somehow it can just as easily take a poignant and melancholy turn. Read the rest of this entry »
I’m no activist—certainly not the kind to lay down in the middle of the street to be carried off by the police. I applaud those who are, those whose courage and tenacity in acts of civil disobedience have furthered causes for which there would not otherwise be a voice. I find myself instead as the quiet protestor—the guy who simply by his existence, without saying a word, takes a stance against the disease of ignorance and homophobia in his daily life. Read the rest of this entry »
I thought I would try another wordless Wednesday
—though I can never be completely wordless.
One of the features that distinguishes the boys is their hair
—it’s part of what makes them fabulous. Read the rest of this entry »
I’ve tried to think of what to say about this day. It seems like there is usually a bit of reflection, some hand-wringing, a little sadness and then it’s topped off with a heaping of hope. A few years ago I wouldn’t have believed that I/we would be in this kind of limbo still. We have coped, ignored and refrained from thinking about our son’s future. But nowadays mostly, we live our lives and that is the greatest preoccupation of all. We are a family of four and the parenting demands and busyness that is our everyday life—that’s what keeps the uncertainty at bay. Read the rest of this entry »
Fall has officially landed on us in the form of cooler temperatures and pumpkins popping up on porches around the neighborhood. Summer is beginning to seem like history. Looking back, it was a good time for our little family. The boys seemed to flourish. Read the rest of this entry »
October 2009
It was nearly a year ago that these little feet attached to the little baby known as Lucas came to live with us. The little feet have gotten bigger and little baby Lucas has figured out how to use them: Read the rest of this entry »
And what of us—what kind of life will we find when our family is down to three. How will I wake each day and not expect to hear T’s voice or his running footsteps. What will it mean to again, just have one child in the house. Read the rest of this entry »
“Why Lucas?” That was what one of my family members asked me recently while on a visit back home. I had to think back six months and try to remember. It seems like it was a long process though I’m not sure why. How hard is it to pick a name for your kid? If memory serves, it turns out really hard. Read the rest of this entry »
It’s been six months. Read the rest of this entry »
“C is for cookie that’s good enough for me….”
C is for cookie or cat or car…or court. Today we are in court once again. It has been a long road—these last twenty-eight months. I haven’t had the inspiration or maybe it’s the emotion to write anything about what today’s hearing means for our little family. In some ways that is good, in that I am not drowning in fear or sadness that our foster son’s departure is eminent, but also I don’t feel particularly hopeful either—maybe also, not such a good thing. Maybe it’s ambivalence—not that I don’t care—but just a sense that there is no wide swing of emotions attached to this day.
The Daddy Diaries 
