About a week ago, I stepped onto the bathroom scale and read the unvarnished, plus-sized truth: I can officially find work as the Pillsbury Dough Boy body-double.
I won’t bore you with the details of my arrival at this rather colossal point. The summary is that, in the past 11 years, I’ve exercised incrementally less and eaten cookies and cake exponentially more.
I went from this (so light, I could almost fly)
to an extra 30 pounds of this
Juan, being the lovely person that he is, has been kind enough not to bring up the fact that his beloved is a whole lot more man than he met at the tail end of Summer 2001. He has listened patiently as I’ve declared time and time again that I’m going to get myself together and get back to something that resembles healthy and fit. But he does remind me that the stakes are higher now.
We have a kid to take care of and he is going to need us to be around for a while. Every now and then, we might have to offer him a helping hand.
I’m hearing him loud and clear. As much as I can control outcomes, I’m going to do my best to make it to Lucas’ 30th birthday and hopefully do so without the aid of a wheelchair, walker or cane.
So four days ago, I decided it was time for a little personal reinvention. Goodbye cookies. Goodbye fat. Hello to a new attitude and eventually an upgraded version of me. And I’ll also have something to write about on a regular basis. Stay tuned for updates.
And wish me luck!