There is a time for grieving

that time is winding down

I should be less sad

I should find happiness in the here and now

and find a way to overcome the loss of our son

 

 

Moving on

Lucas is beginning to fill the hole that remains

his personality is exploding all over everyone including the dogs

he is growing into the space

once dominated by our foster son’s immense personality

 

Moving on

I have given up

time to man-up and be a Dad

and a husband

and not a grieving blubbery mess

it’s crushing but must be done

 

Moving on

His artwork is in my desk drawer

photos on my office wall

clothes in his backpack

and the little red shelves full of the books that he loved so much

What to do about all of the things, what to do

Moving on

His loss is more contained now

It stays in the gray corner of my head

where the light has begun to dim, grows less, grows dull, goes out

As long as nothing reminds me, there are no more tears

 

Moving on

People ask about him

There is nothing to say

there is no word

there is nothing to offer you hope

I’m sorry

 

Moving on

Means saying goodbye

and I will have peace someday

It means that it’s okay for me to turn to the picture of him on my desk

to pull up close to his face

and say, “Good morning”

Because, I am moving on

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