Something happened to us as you all were leaving your place of work to make your way home to begin your weekend. You met friends out at happy hour, or if you have kids, you picked them up from day care or after care or met your teenagers as they bounded home in time to sit around the dinner table. While I was stepping off the train, it happened. As I drove to day care to pick up T, it had already transpired. The life of our little family took one big step forward.
Our son was born on October 7, and on that day his mother signed the paperwork to place him up for adoption. In the State of Maryland, parents have up to thirty days to rescind that decision. The Agency Director all along had warned us of that possibility—that mothers change their minds. We assured him that living in uncertainty is something we have become accustomed to, or so I thought. Sometimes it is easy to confuse becoming accustomed to something with having a tolerance. With tolerance there is always a level to which you cannot exceed without significant consequence.
I am there.
I cannot handle anymore disappointment. Even after only two weeks, I cannot imagine the kind of state I would be in, had that knock on the door come to collect our son and return him to his mother. It is interesting how quickly he has become a part of our family, like there was this gap among the members; like he was destined to fill the empty space that existed between we three, or rather we six (including our three furry family members).
We received confirmation from the Agency Director this evening as he reported to us that there had been no contact with her. At five o’clock today, his mother decided to let us forever, love, care for, and raise her son. For this I am so thankful to her and to our Higher Power for letting me be a father to an amazing son, once again.
Lucas is us.