I am new to the world of blogging, but after a month or so, I now understand how they serve to help people who may want to deal with serious personal issues.  Blogging is a useful tool for expressing oneself.  The interaction makes it possible for one to keep a journal that allows others to share in your pain, sorrow or joy.  The communities that focus on adoption for example, seem to coalesce around issues that provide some level of support.  They function as a resource that might not otherwise be available.  I have explored everything from a Christian blogger praying desperately for an Ethiopian baby to an adoptee dealing with grief and loss over a mother that gave her up as an infant.  There is always something to take away from reading them–information, understanding–even if you think the person is wrong or just plain stupid.

Blogs also remind me that there are a lot of damaged people out there, some of whom deal with their issues and seek out help.  Then there are others in this universe who make it their business to use this tool not as a means to find comfort or healing through sharing of experiences or having real discourse, but to grind their ax, to wreck their particular kind of havoc on whoever draws their attention.  Because there is never any kind of face-to-face, there are many who just step up and slam whatever is being said.  And there also those who take an anonymous swipe and then sink back into their anonymity.  This place provides them that opportunity.  After all it is a blog and that is how it works–everything goes, few rules or boundaries?  You put it out there and everything is fair game.

I always believe in the good in people–a cliché I know.  They can either prove me right or prove me wrong.  Additionally, I believe that if I write about the things that my partner and I are going through with regard to this strange process of adoption–that we would find support from family and friends and that we might keep them up-to-date with what is happening.  We also thought that we might illicit some discussions and exchanges with others who might have interest in this subject and learn something in the process.  Most importantly though we hoped that this diary of sorts would one day provide our son the opportunity to look back and understand what all of this meant for us.  It might offer him a window into what we were thinking and feeling and how much we wanted him in our family.  We anticipate keeping this blog possibly for years, so that it isn’t just about the notion of him, but the experiences that we will all go through as he grows up in our family.

With that in mind we have debated about the possibility of moderating our blog.  A few times there have been unwelcome comments left by those that I wrote about earlier, who seek to grind their axes on our often very personal posts.  They are unwelcome because they are not critical solely for the purpose of stirring an exchange of ideas, instead they mean to generate negativity for no other apparent reason than to vent their hurt and anger.  They use a blog rather than seeking help in more appropriate places. We are not sounding boards and we do not want to get into “the angries” with people on-line.  We invite those who want to engage in that to go elsewhere. We consider this a writing product that we want to leave to our son. Anyone who can help us be better adoptive parents and help us understand the needs of our adopted son through challenging questions, comments or even through statements of support, then by all means come on.

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