You are currently browsing the category archive for the ‘Adoption’ category.
I was rushing from work, clomping black oxfords down the sidewalk towards the subway. The day was not unlike the rest of my week where all hell had broken loose, where casual Friday was anything but casual. I scurried down the escalator into the passage under the street, through the turnstiles and another escalator to the platform. It was only a few minutes after five, I might still get a seat on the train. I whipped out my trusty companion—the company BlackBerry—to kill the 5 ½ minute ride to the train station. I thumbed through my calendar and at the top of May 25 was a reminder—Monthly Home Visit from Social Worker. For a few hours I had forgotten about him. Read the rest of this entry »
In the midst of grief there is always a job to do. In divorce there are legal issues and settlement and visitation. In death, the affairs of a person’s life must be put in order; personal effects must be handled. In reunification there are also those things—the needful. We’ve done a lot of the hard stuff: preparing him as much as is possible with a four-year old; figuring out what things to send with him; and finally transporting the little guy and his possessions to his new life. Now comes the rest.
I was too hard on him. I didn’t have the patience to be gentler in my tone or my words when he was just being a four-year old. And now I am remembering that—knowing he is gone and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. I wish there was a way to take it all back and replace it with calm and loving-speak. I am the adult, not the one going through yet another phase of development nor am I going through what must be a confusing and uneasy transition time. I should have known better, should have been a better father, should have been better to him. Read the rest of this entry »
Memories of brothers who shared a passion for flashing lights and blaring sirens Read the rest of this entry »
Juan and I have spent the past 3 years, 3 months and 23 days taking care of a little boy that is not ours.
We’ve fed him.
We’ve clothed him.
We’ve provided him with shelter.
We’ve loved him with a ferocity that would frighten the fur off the most terrifying jungle beast. Read the rest of this entry »
I expect that in about three months our son will be gone—reunited with his biological family. I ‘m not sure what this means for our family. For now, we turn again to our beloved little four year-old and begin the process of thinking about how to help him make this transition. It’s time for his foster parents to put away sorrow for the moment and have adult conversations about the next few months. Read the rest of this entry »
If I take no surprise – my update after the June 2, 2010 hearing – and make some minor changes, you’ll be up to date on this 3 year and 3 month saga. Yesterday’s outcome was hardly any different. Unsupervised visits are set to begin again. The plan is for some 4 hour visits once a week for three weeks and then some overnight visits on the weekend. Read the rest of this entry »
Another court date is upon us. This is the hearing meant to replace the one back in December where several parties were no-shows; which was meant to replace the one back in October where the court didn’t properly schedule the hearing; that replaces the one in September where none of the parties could agree—this hearing, to replace all of the others, is happening today, January 11. If anyone is late or absent, no excuse will suffice. Not that anyone should ever have an excuse for not showing at a hearing given the gravity of the situation, but this time no one can forget the date: one-one-one-one-one. Read the rest of this entry »