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Ok, what the hell happened? Two Wednesdays ago, I was stressing about the inevitable Wednesday visits and all the things that those visits brought to mind. Last Wednesday came and went - as did the visit - and I barely batted an eye. Hands were not wrung. Teeth were not gnashed. And in two days, Wednesday will be staring me in the face again. I’m already anticipating a mental and physical shrug of the shoulders. Read the rest of this entry »
The days when I watch T doing something goofy, endearing, or utterly irrational are even more enjoyable when my inner-voice fails to surface and remind me that in 10 months or even 2 years, he may go back to his biological parents. As time goes on, those days of forgetting are much more frequent than the days of remembering.
Today marks one month and one day that T has been with us. He arrived on October 19th, a quiet little guy with a crooked, instantly disarming grin. T still has that grin, but the “quiet” and “little” descriptors might as well be a thing of the past. Read the rest of this entry »
This is a rare moment.
Right now, at 10:14 AM Eastern Time, the house is absolutely quiet. Mika, Milo, and Rocky are all sleeping, curled up on the floor in front of me, and T is an hour and a half into his first morning nap. That’s probably 30 minutes too long, but that’s okay. He could use a good long nap. And frankly, so could I - him having a long nap I mean. I’ve been home and off work since Monday, and I feel like I’ve been in motion ever since I woke up that Monday morning. I get more rest at my day job! It’s all good though. I wouldn’t trade these past four weeks (four weeks!!) for anything.
So what should I do with this short time I have to myself? Read the paper? Make myself some tea? Play some music? Watch TV? Maybe just watch the birds visit the feeders that I’ve neglected up until yesterday, when guilt finally overcame me and I filled them all back up.
Of course, in the 10 minutes it took me to type this up, the baby monitor next to me just buzzed back to life and I can hear T’s familiar “geeee!”.
I’ll take advantage of the next nap. Or maybe the one after that.
Last night, Juan said to me “I wonder what T thinks about being here?” I was pretty quick to answer that T is probably happy and that he knows that someone is taking good care of him. Read the rest of this entry »
…daysixdaysevendayeightdayninedayten! Whew! It is hard to believe that T has been with us for 10 days. Most of them have been a whirlwind of shopping, diaper changing, bottle preparation, feeding, laundry, and…well…anything and everything baby-related. And somewhere in all of that, we’ve tried to find time to do some things for ourselves. Like sleep and eat. Read the rest of this entry »
Hello, All. We’ll write a more extensive update in the next day or so, but just to let you know…
There’s a new, 9-month old member of our household as of Friday, October 19 at 7pm. At this point, we don’t know if this placement will lead to permanent adoption, but no matter what, the experience so far has been fantastic.
More to follow, so stay tuned.
I closed my office door and shed tears for someone I never knew. Read the rest of this entry »
(This post is something I started, slogged through, and then felt ambivalent about once it was done. I think maybe it was helpful in opening up the door to discuss some other issues in my life related to connectedness and culture. I’ve decided to post it anyways)
After a week of starting and restarting a blog post (it lived in draft form as “Pioneer” for a bit) - after a week of struggling to come up with just the right words - after a week of restless nights and racing thoughts, it hit me some time in the pre-dawn hours of Friday morning. Read the rest of this entry »
Today, The Maryland Court of Appeals upheld the state’s ban on same-sex marriage. I had been hopeful that the outcome would be different. It seemed like there had been some positive, encouraging momentum over the past year+. Read the rest of this entry »
My brain is jam packed with imaginations of our future life with kids. Mainly, I imagine the happy moments - that first day when the crawl becomes a walk; trips to the park; clunky, awkward but fun school performances; pancakes and cartoons on a rainy Saturday morning - stuff like that. Other times, my mind conjures up less pleasant, but nevertheless very real images. I imagine the first tearful moment when some snot-nosed kid at school calls us or our child a fag. I can see that first and scary trip to the hospital because of a fever or broken bone or allergic reaction. I remember some of my days as a sulky teenager, and I foresee a little bit of payback as our child approaches the teen years.
Though the images are all very different, there is one thing they have in common. I’ve never pictured our child being white. Never. Black, yes. Latino, yes. Biracial, yes. White? Nope. Never. Read the rest of this entry »
A couple of weeks ago, I was headed into Petco or Petsmart. I can’t remember which one. As I entered the store, a dad (presumably) and his son (presumably again) were leaving the store. The kid was about 4 or 5 years old, and he wasn’t leaving voluntarily. On the contrary, he was leaving kicking and screaming. His dad was carrying him out like a sack of potatoes. The kid was screaming something but it was pretty hard to figure out. My best interpretation is “waahhhhhh….aaaaaaahhh…waahhhh…noooowwwwahhhhrrrrgggg!!!” Dad, who seemed pretty calm, said something like “I’ve had just about enough of that!”. And out the door they went. I’m assuming the in-store drama was averted Read the rest of this entry »
It has been a while since I posted anything. I haven’t much felt like blogging lately. I have quite a few thoughts about adoption, parenting, and life-with-kids, but nothing seems all that blog-worthy. Plus, there ain’t much happening…yet. Read the rest of this entry »
Allow us to take a momentary break from our lengthy posts to bring you this quick update…
We got the word a couple of days ago that the health department inspection will happen on Saturday 8/11. Finally, some movement! Also, the social worker is planning to stop by next week for visit #2 of the homestudy. We’ve got the fire department inspection still to do. We’re hoping we can get that done by the end of the month.
And now, back to our regularly scheduled program.
Pregnant women are lucky. Weight gain, morning sickness, backaches, headaches, frequent urination, swollen feet, hands and ankles, mood swings, swift kicks to the stomach from the inside - you name it, they experience it. Read the rest of this entry »
He’s got infinite possibilities
I can see them now
It’s the unbroken chains of his past by which he’s bound
He’s got infinite possibilities
I can feel them now
If he chooses well, then nothing can tear him down
Lyrics from “Infinite Possibilities” by Amel Larrieux
I’ve started and stopped this post several times over the past week and a half. It’s so easy to edit yourself when you can delete letters, words, or even entire paragraphs and pages at the click of one little button. Curse this backspace key! Did people have as much trouble typing and writing when all you had was a bottle of white-out and an eraser? Maybe the editing tools don’t matter. If I were doing all this on paper, I could easily just tear the paper into little pieces each time I scribbled out a sentence I didn’t like.
Anyways, Infinite Possibilities…
I watched the Wednesday’s Child videos of Dion and Devon again. I’m not sure how many times I’ve seen these videos. Three times? Five times? Ten? I’ve lost count. Each time though, I seem to find some new tears to shed. (Yes, I’m a sensitive type guy). I am both saddened by their situations and touched by their hope and resiliency. I am moved to act but held back by pragmatism. Read the rest of this entry »
In today’s Washington Post, there was an article (you may have to register to view it) titled “Family Planning - With a Little Forethought, Parents and Teens Can Share the Good Times”. The article’s focus was on the challenges parents face in staying connected with and planning activities with their teenagers. There really wasn’t much to the article, but it did make me think about the things I look forward to doing with Juan and Junior (the placeholder name until he arrives) as a family.
So here’s some of the things I’m looking forward to… Read the rest of this entry »
Nothing to really write about. Today was similar to the others. One more day to go!
Day 2’s topics were Attachment Theory, Separation and Loss, Common Disorders of Youth in Foster Care, and Discipline. Read the rest of this entry »
Well, Day 1 (modules 1 and 2) came to an end, and we both survived. Three days and six modules to go!
So what do I think of training so far? Read the rest of this entry »
Today was one of those days that can try a man’s patience. We had our first day of our foster/adoptive resource training (step 2 on our Public Agency Adoption Roadmap) by BCDSS. The class definitely started off on the wrong foot. Read the rest of this entry »
If you’ve checked out our About Us page, you know that we are in the process of adopting. We are working with Baltimore City Department of Social Services (BCDSS), though we may go through a private agency if we get a sense that things are not happening as we hoped. Stay tuned for some posts about our experiences with BCDSS so far.
Here’s the steps as laid out by BCDSS: Read the rest of this entry »
