Another mother, another baby

Back in early September when we were presented to the mother that we were eventually matched with, it seemed a bit too quick and a little too easy.  The agency director even seemed a little skeptical about the parents’ resolve.  I told him at the time and have told others as well as myself, that if a mother suddenly changed her mind and decided to keep her baby, it was a good thing.  I don’t want a kid growing up without his or her birth parents even if those parents decide at the last moment to keep them.  The decision to voluntarily give up your parental rights and entrust your child to someone else’s care is immense.  It resonates through your whole life; it’s irreversible and life-long.  It’s a remarkable conclusion to arrive at and in my head I applaud anyone able to make this choice.  You see, that is what I told myself—a very adult response, a very healthy attitude.  But that information left me sitting on the train home feeling agitated and angry and wanting to stop the madness.