
Two words could sum up our evening last night—show cause. The rest of the conversation we had with T’s case worker seems to pale in comparison to those words. What does it mean? I’ll get to that in a minute.
She arrived early as she frequently does for her home visits. Darrow was not home yet with the little guy. As I greeted her at the front steps she began to apologize profusely—yes, profusely—for the weekly visit T had with his parents. She had a court appearance this week and had handed off the logistics and notification for the visit to someone else. That person failed to tell anyone that the normal one hour visit was going to stretch to about three hours because of a planned birthday party for his mother. I received an alarming call from his day care provider that it was almost three o’clock and he had not returned. We weren’t particularly phased by it. We knew that reading anything into this kind of thing was futile. It’s just too punishing anymore.
After Darrow arrived and we sat down at the dining room table, I noticed that the worker was particularly warm and friendly, just like during the last hearing. It was clear that she had something definite, specific, and important to tell us. She asked if we could start because she wanted to talk about the upcoming court date and the general position of BCDSS. We noted how well T is doing developmentally but she already knew most of that because she sees him every week. We talked about a few medical issues, potty training, his musical tastes and then we let her talk.
She said that the visits had been going well—I held my breath a little for the rest of the sentence—they (the parents) have been on time—which we knew was not actually the case but anyway—the parents had done minimal things in the court order—but?—but it wasn’t enough. She then talked about how she had begun to put together the “show cause” packet. Show cause is an order from a judge that directs a party to come to court and convince the judge why she shouldn’t grant an action proposed by the other side. In these kinds of cases, the show cause order would be served on the biological parents, their attorneys and the Guardian ad litem. The order would explain the nature of the proceeding—that is to terminate parental rights (TPR). It would also inform them of the parents right to object and indicate the consequences of failing to object within the stated time limit of 30 days.
She said that during the last hearing, the service plan to do list had been incorporated into the court order. It was crafted so that the court was ordering the parents to comply with the requirements in that document. Because the parents are not in compliance, she said that BCDSS is moving towards a permanent placement—adoption—with us. She then asked if we had completed the paperwork indicating our desire to serve as an adoptive resource. Yes, we had months ago. She suggested that at the hearing when we bring T for his consult with the Master, that we also bring the book that Darrow published with early photos of our foster son. She wants the Master to see just how far the little guy has come since coming into care with us.
We noted that for the first time she was being direct with us. In the past her statements were evasive and void of information. She looked at us both and said, “I want this to happen.” Without being explicit, she was clear. At this point she wants us to adopt T. Her idea of bringing the book to show the Master is an effort to help sell the idea in court. She told us a couple of times not to worry. She had carefully documented everything in this case. What she may have lacked in maturity and in empathy, she made up for in her conscientiousness and thoroughness. After all the drama I had been through with her early on, I was beginning to see that her attention to detail would serve us all very well in the end. As this case moves forward towards TPR, it will be difficult for the parents’ attorneys to find gaps in the case. By the time we reach the court house in August, it will have been close to twenty-two months that he has been in care. In addition, the date identified in the original permanency plan for achievement of reunification will have expired the day before the upcoming hearing. This along with the careful documentation in the case records by his worker will make it hard for the mother’s attorney to argue against the motion for TPR and harder still to appeal.
And the hearing approaches, though I’m not sure about the logistics of having three squirmy children in a small court room while trying to conduct a hearing, for the most part I sense this strange calm about it all now. In one sense, last night feels like just one more conversation that we have had regarding the feelings about this case—lack of motivation, little progress towards reunification, three small children in care for most of their lives. But it wasn’t just another conversation. An agent of BCDSS has clearly and directly informed us of their intent to change the permanency plan and move the case towards the termination of parental rights with the final solution of adoption. The hearing—now less than two weeks away—holds such weight for all of us.

17 comments
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July 24, 2009 at 11:44 pm
Karen
Juan and Darrow, this is great news although I imagine it’s too early to get too excited since this is DSS and there can be surprises in court. But still, this is very exciting! I will be keeping my fingers (and toes and everything else) crossed!
July 25, 2009 at 1:46 am
Thomas
What wonderful news! Thinking good thoughts for the three of you!
July 25, 2009 at 6:55 am
Dan
WOW – what an amazing movement – this is quite encouraging.
I will work for the best for you both!
July 25, 2009 at 6:55 am
Dan
Work was supposed to be hope – Freudian slip as my bag of work to do this weekend sits next to me….
July 25, 2009 at 2:47 pm
Julie
I’m crossing my fingers for all three of you!!!
July 27, 2009 at 11:04 am
jdoh
This is a step in the right direction; I wish you all the very best! Especially, T, who deserves permanency after all this time.
July 27, 2009 at 11:30 am
Kristine
Yes! This is really, really good news. Bringing the book is an excellent idea. We brought our picture book to the last hearing, and although we have no idea if it had any weight, we are glad we did. I will be thinking of you and hoping that the right decision for T will be made very soon.
July 27, 2009 at 12:33 pm
Nichole
Crossing my fingers!!!!!!
July 27, 2009 at 2:24 pm
Clementine
Wow. I’m so glad to hear this news! It seems like T has been in legal limbo for SO LONG. I’m happy to hear that The Powers That Be are moving toward adoption!
July 27, 2009 at 9:49 pm
Steven
Sending hopeful thoughts and wishes your way!
Steven, Brian and Darius
July 29, 2009 at 11:30 am
Doreen
I have been reading your blog since finding you guys on Babble a while ago. Every time I click on it I hold my breath for a moment hoping only to find good news in what I read..My prayers and good thoughts will be with you, you have been amazing fathers to T and I know in the end he will remain with you guys,,where he belongs.
July 30, 2009 at 9:31 pm
Susanna
WOW!!!!! In tears as I read this. Great news to have the worker on your side and that she has great documentation. Recently our plan changed to reunification/adoption and I am finding that the good news of the plan change is overshadowed by the b.p’s now wanting to put forth effort into reunification. So instead of relief at having a plan change, excitement about having an adoption worker now, I am again and still……. holding my breath. And will hold my breath for you too.
Have you had any plan change yet? ( I did read past blogs but must have missed it if you did) Are they trying to go to a change in plan straight to adoption rather than the dual planning first? Has the TPR been filed with the court? Just want to know if the system is the same in Maryland cities and counties, though I am sure it varies by case.
July 30, 2009 at 10:17 pm
Juan
Thanks everyone for your good wishes. The hearing is in one week and we will report back after it’s over. Susanna, we were always concerned that anything that happened like retaining an attorney, or the court changing the permanency plan would lead to more of an effort on the part of the birth parents. Based upon the worker’s comments last week, we don’t believe that is the case. Also, during the last hearing the plan was changed to reunification/adoption. TPR has not yet been filed. The big question for us is what will the outcome of the next hearing be. In the past the court order has always addressed the permanency plan. It is possible that during the next hearing the Master may redirecting the plan away from reunification and towards adoption. We have not been town this path before so we don’t really know what to expect.
July 31, 2009 at 9:18 am
Susanna
If you are interested, I can tell you what I have been told about the process at this point. We are both in the same state and though the cases are different, some of the process may be the same. My e-mail : susannagwens @ yahoo.com (take out the spaces)
I am also interested in knowing how you chose an attorney and whether you think that has been beneficial. I am considering that as an option at this point but don’t know where to find a reputable one.
July 31, 2009 at 2:58 pm
Brian
wow, good luck to all of you. It sounds very hopeful.
August 5, 2009 at 10:31 pm
Jennifer
I’m holding my breath. And sending every possible good thought your way….
September 1, 2010 at 8:42 am
today, tomorrow and then « The Daddy Diaries
[...] Today, that committee will determine if it is time to end reunification efforts and have the parents served with a Show Cause. [...]