Comments on: Designed to Fail – Pt. II

By: Kristine

Kristine — Fri, 08 May 2009 19:20:58 +0000

So glad you posted this. I, too, believe that this is progress, and looks like a step in the “right” direction, that being of T staying with the both of you. Is there any way that you can submit evidence, such as a psychological evaluation of T’s attachment? Some look at a child’s stay with a foster home as short , but in his little life it has been a HUGE amount of time, and especially one at a critical point in his development.
Ninety days seems like a long time…it only means that that’s 90 days of further attaching to his father…YOU.

By: underbrella

underbrella — Fri, 08 May 2009 06:25:03 +0000

It does feel that some progress is being made. The waiting is going to be horrible but hopefully the outcome will be positive for you and T. As you say, it does feel that the ‘to do list’ is designed for the parents to demonstrate their commitment / competence.

Good luck

By: Juan

Juan — Thu, 07 May 2009 19:14:14 +0000

Melissa–it is good news but there is no telling how it will all pan out. Nicole–I wish I could take credit for amazing strength, but at this point we are prisoners. Aside from hanging in there and waiting for it all to wind out, our only other option is to give him up (that is no option at all).
Knot–we busy ourselves with taking care of him and us. Though I have to admit I am not sure how I will do during the next 90 days. It isn’t a typical hearing, so I imagine I won’t behave typically. Hopefully I won’t start getting worked up until at least the end of June. As I imagine you already know, it starts to interfere with sleep and emotionally you’re just a wreck by the time the date comes around.

By: Knot

Knot — Thu, 07 May 2009 15:50:11 +0000

…holding my breath…on the edge of my seat.

I remember what it was like to have to wait until the next court date. Most of the time, I didn’t think I could take another chunk of time going on the same, same, same.

I’ve lost all faith in the system after what happened to us. I’m hoping your situation will give me hope for these children again.

By: Nichole

Nichole — Wed, 06 May 2009 17:34:42 +0000

You have amazing strength to be able to do this. I’ve decided to only do respite care because of this exact situation. It would be so heartbreaking to care for a child for so long and KNOW to your core that you are the best parent for them and then have them taken away.

I so hope he is able to stay with you and be raised by the two wonderful parents that love him so much.

By: Melissa

Melissa — Wed, 06 May 2009 16:53:14 +0000

This sounds like a good development on your part. While I understand that the goal is reunification and that it has to be that way for those parents who either are wrongly in the system or who have just had unfortunate circumstances, to me it seems like the majority of kids in the sytem have parents that are terribly irresponsible. I’m pretty sure, even without specific knowledge of the details, that T will be better off with you guys. You’ve already bonded and that’s important at this age.

Good luck, and keep us posted.