What, fear, who me?

Adoption is a commitment that my partner and I have weighed for several years.  Even before knowing each other, we each had entertained the idea.  There were times-many times actually-that I wasn’t sure if I had the ability to be a parent or that I even wanted to be.  The notion was vague, like something I would do in the future-like retire.  It seemed far enough away that I wouldn’t expend a lot of energy thinking about it anyway.

Sure he’s cute, but don’t you have something in a younger baby?

When presented with a choice, how do you select the child that is to become your son or daughter?  It’s a pretty profound decision.  Biological parents are spared this kind of decision-making because a higher power, fate or mother nature makes the decision for them.  So where do we go to find the answer?  It would be irresponsible to be arbitrary about such a thing.  It is just as important a decision as the one we made in taking on the life-long responsibility to adopt. 

Pickles and Ice Cream

Pregnant women are lucky.  Weight gain, morning sickness,  backaches, headaches, frequent urination, swollen feet, hands and ankles, mood swings, swift kicks to the stomach from the inside - you name it, they experience it. 

Infinite Possibilities

He’s got infinite possibilities
I can see them now
It’s the unbroken chains of his past by which he’s bound
He’s got infinite possibilities
I can feel them now
If he chooses well, then nothing can tear him down
     Lyrics from “Infinite Possibilities” by Amel Larrieux

I’ve started and stopped this post several times over the past week and a half.  It’s so easy to edit yourself when you can delete letters, words, or even entire paragraphs and pages at the click of one little button.  Curse this backspace key! Did people have as much trouble typing and writing when all you had was a bottle of white-out and an eraser? Maybe the editing tools don’t matter.   If I were doing all this on paper, I could easily just tear the paper into little pieces each time I scribbled out a sentence I didn’t like.

Anyways, Infinite Possibilities…

The things you have to do to get a baby

I have often heard jokes about the process that people have to go through in order to become adoptive parents, like suggesting that all parents should have to go though a certification process.  One of the biggest obstacles to becoming an adoptive parent is making sure that your home meets certain safety and health standards.  Most of these requirements are the things you should have done anyways—like ensuring you can escape during a fire, putting household cleaners out of a child’s reach or making sure that a toddler does not get his head stuck in the banister of the staircase.

The Dogs

We have dogs–big dogs.  Mika looks like a big yellow German Shepherd if there were such a thing. She came from a shelter on the West Coast and accompanied me on a cross-country trip to the Mid-Atlantic several years ago.  She is credited with introducing my partner and I in front of the Capitol Building next to the reflecting pool on September 12, 2001.

Home Study – Part I

We met the social worker at our house.  It was a good day for the first visit.  Though the calendar said July, it seemed like a cool Spring morning.  At the end of the visit she turned to us and said, “It is just so peaceful here.”  It was a comforting statement not just because we were sitting outside on the deck under the trees, but because it was a good visit.  The worker made us feel comfortable; she was professional and spoke to us like we were both equally a part of the process.  She gave us good advice and made it seem like something good would come out of this for everyone.

Who

Who is he? 

What does he look like? 

What will life be like with him?

 

Sometimes I think about all of the differences in the children that I care for every Saturday when I volunteer.  I imagine that he’s a little bit of all of them.  He smiles easily and big.  His hair is soft and curly.  His eyes are dark and deep.  His body is so little and frail but it just seems that way.  He can hold his head up.  He likes to be picked up.  He rubs his eyes when he is tired and will scream if you don’t get the hint.