Join us on our journey to Daddyhood.
“Potato.”
“Potato?”
“Yes, in the dream he said potato.”
“Why did he say that? What does it mean–potato?”
“I don’t know.”
“Did he say anything else.”
“No, just po-ta-to.”
We have been waiting patiently for the first word. We assume it will be Da-da, but I suppose it could be anything. Though I don’t think he will be uttering three syllable words like potato right off the bat. Read the rest of this entry »
Two months ago we went to the adjudication hearing regarding our foster son. The hearing was supposed to determine whether there are sufficient facts in the case to necessitate declaring him a child in need of assistance (CINA) from the State of Maryland. I say we went, rather than attended because we weren’t actually invited or expected, for that matter. One might even take from the response we received or the lack thereof from Baltimore City Department of Social Services (BCDSS), that we were not welcome.
Ok, what the hell happened? Two Wednesdays ago, I was stressing about the inevitable Wednesday visits and all the things that those visits brought to mind. Last Wednesday came and went - as did the visit - and I barely batted an eye. Hands were not wrung. Teeth were not gnashed. And in two days, Wednesday will be staring me in the face again. I’m already anticipating a mental and physical shrug of the shoulders. Read the rest of this entry »
The days when I watch T doing something goofy, endearing, or utterly irrational are even more enjoyable when my inner-voice fails to surface and remind me that in 10 months or even 2 years, he may go back to his biological parents. As time goes on, those days of forgetting are much more frequent than the days of remembering.
Sometimes we marvel at the things this little boy does. It is the reason neither of us can refer to him as a baby anymore, because he has become his own little entity–he is becoming a little boy. He has become more demonstrative as he becomes a toddler; he emotes more through his facial expressions. He looks up at me for a few moments like I am the center of his universe, then he sees his stuffed teddy bear or his favorite book and the center shifts for a while. I think he loves books more than any of his toys. It is amazing to see this kind of thing in such a young child. Read the rest of this entry »
This is a post that I have been staring at for over a month contemplating whether to share it. It needed to be processed a little because it was so raw. But I have not sugar-coated anything. It represents what is happening to me, be it good, bad or ugly:
There may ultimately be an explosion. And I do mean me. Read the rest of this entry »
Sometimes one of us turns to the other and states, “we have a baby,” as if it has just dawned on us for the first time. On occasion it seems surreal that this perfect little boy is with us.
Foster parenting is not adoption. While the link between the two is evident–the pathway to adoption often beginning with foster care–the challenges faced by foster parents can be overwhelming at times. For instance there is this crazy linkage between the foster family and the one whose child you are caring for. Sometimes it feels as if the messy life of your foster child’s biological family has been dropped in your lap. Read the rest of this entry »
We have been trying to find the rhythm of this new life that includes a little baby boy. Our absence from the blog is just a symptom of having a child. Lots of things have slipped in the last two months that our son has been with us. The house isn’t as clean, running or any exercise for that matter has been pretty hit or miss. The dogs are a bit more pesky probably because we haven’t mastered how to give them the love and attention they deserve given the needs of the newest member of the family. The rules have changed for everyone–dogs included–and the adjustment phase is on-going. Read the rest of this entry »
It has been more than a month since our foster son arrived in our home. My partner noted the other day that T had already settled in to become another part of our family. It is as if he has always belonged here. He has bonded with us and we are hopelessly bonded to him. The dogs are in tune to him and our oldest has begun to show her protectiveness by sleeping in front of his crib and by carefully inspecting anyone who enters our home and decides to get near T. But as our connection grows with this little boy so does our apprehension that he is in foster care with us. He is not our child and his future is not at all certain.
